Mike's top five

Mike's top five things I enjoy about Spring Cleaning.
#5. After a long day of spring cleaning, there's nothing quite like spring BBQ ribs and a refreshing spring beer while watching spring Hockey Night in Canada.
#4. Putting all the snow shovels away. (Though not so far away that you can't get to them if you need them without climbing over the big plastic pool stuck in the back of the shed.)
#3. Using all the frozen poops in the back yard to build one of those Lincoln log homes.
#2. Finally finding the extension cord I needed back in November when I was hanging the Christmas lights.
#1. Finding bonus jelly beans between the couch cushions!

The Doodlebops are here Tuesday for two shows and Hedley is here Thursday for a huge show. Mike's top five differences between the two shows.
#5. The Hedley show will probably be a lot louder than the Doodlebops, but the noise coming from the fidgety three year old next to you at the Doodlebop show might be harder to take.
#4. 90% of audience members at one of the shows will be under four feet tall.
#3. At only one of the shows will you be asked by Rick Kelly to please sit down so he can see 'Bus Driver Bob'.
#2. An hour into the show, the Hedley audience will be frenzied and dancing on their seats – The Doodlebop's audience members will be on their third trip to the bathroom and in need of a nap.
#1. It's just as likely at either show, that you'll be sitting beside someone who got their tickets for free from 101.3 The River!

Mike's top five signs you need to invest in an RV this summer.
#5. After last year's May long weekend camping trip, you ended up with both frostbite AND sunburn.
#4. You caught your kids on craigslist offer to sell a Coleman stove, lantern and tent, cheap!
#3. Your tent trailer doubles as a wheelbarrow in the off season.
#2. One night in the rain, shivering in the fetal position, while watching vulture-sized mosquitoes carry off your Shih Tzu, is one night too many.
#1. Your idea of roughing it involves not roughing it at all.

See this movie first

Mike's top five St. Patrick's Day jokes.
#5. Knock, knock. Who's there? Irish. Irish who? Irish you a happy St. Patrick's day!
#4. What happens when a leprechaun falls into a river? He gets wet.
#3. Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day? Regular rocks are too heavy.
#2. Why are leprechauns always asking for money? Because they're always a little short.
#1. Where does a  leprechaun buy his suits? From a four leaf clothier.

Top five ways to get in trouble on St Patrick's Day.
#5. Eat haggis, drink scotch and insist Scotland and Ireland are the same thing.
#4. Wear a button that says “Kiss me, I'm Iris”.
#3. Insist you are wearing something green and it's right here on your finger.
#2. Go door to door – demanding candy.
#1. Re-introduce snakes to the island.

Boy it sure was windy on the weekend. How windy was it?
#5. It blew the clocks ahead one hour!
#4. It was the only thing slowing down the Toyota's!
#3. It blew off some of the letters on the Baptist church sign. Apparently, now everyone is invited to “_ _rive earl_ _o me_ _  _he new pre_st”.
#2. All the cars in our parking lot are in the south end.
#1. I fell asleep in Kansas and woke up in Oz!

This weekend we change from Standard Time to Daylight Savings Time by moving our clocks ahead one hour Saturday night. Mike's top five good things about losing an hour over the weekend.
#5. If you forget to change your clock. You can cut right to communion when you're an hour late for church!
#4. Every hour not spent shoveling doggie nuggets is a good hour.
#3. With any luck you'll miss the whole first hour of Celebrity Apprentice, Sunday night.
#2. It's fun to watch that show 24 and pick it apart because it's not called 23.
#1. One less hour of kids complaining "there's nothing to do.."