Mike's top five

The River's Breakfast Idol returns next week..

Top five signs maybe won't be the next American Idol.
#5. While in the waiting room, you are gang-wedgied more than twice by the kids from Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader.
#4. On the way to the audition, you realize you left your kazoo in your other overalls.
#3. Your name is Jay.
#2. At any point during the audition you actually go get your mom to tell the judges how good you are.
#1. After 40 minutes of trying to get Simon to belly dance you realize you're at American Idol and not The River's Breakfast Idol.

Breakfast Idol starts next week – as contestants vi for Tim Bits and Bacon & Eggers. The judges have selected the top five contestants. Mike's top five reasons why you were not selected to be a contestant on Breakfast Idol.
#5. Last time you were on the morning show – you just got up and left after a year!
#4. You're not really a morning person.
#3. You're already making over $8.50/hour.
#2. You already have Mike Benny's autograph.
#1. It's always been a dream of yours to be on a high quality, topical, always entertaining morning show.

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